Why would you seek "Awakening?"
There is a heavy price to pay. Do NOT pursue unless you're willing to pay it.
Many in the western world get drawn into mindfulness meditation for innocuous reasons (e.g. stress reduction). This is potentially dangerous. Alleviating stress or cultivating concentration are very nice things, of course. And basic mindfulness is an effective way to accomplish those goals. But a danger arises as the tool of deep introspection is far more powerful than a simple “analgesic” for managing symptoms of stress or a “hack” for being more focused. Done properly, it is the key whereby we can unlock the “bedrock” insight into what we are and what the nature of reality is. And both what-we-are and what-reality-is are so mind-bendingly strange, if one traipses into the truth without being prepared for it, serious —even seemingly destabilizing - shocks to the psyche can result.
If you’ve ever heard of “the dark night of the soul” or “depersonalization” or “derealization,” these are labels applied to a situation where an unsuspecting seeker/yogi stumbles onto a fundamental truth that they were not mentally prepared for. No one should embark on the spiritual seeking journey, or the quest of deep introspection without first knowing what’s at stake. Such “boilerplate warnings” are all-too-rarely offered by those who would advocate for meditation from a western, secular perspective. Thankfully, some people are deliberate in offering them. But they are a small minority of the advocates of mindfulness. Every advocate should offer much clearer cautions. This is my attempt to help fill that gap.
Here is the bottom line:
You are not what you think you are.
Reality is not what you think it is.
The very bedrock of your worldview is false.
It doesn’t matter what kind of worldview you hold because all worldviews are false. Worldviews are conceptual models through which we interpret our direct experience. But - being conceptual models - they are utterly incapable of actually touching or describing what-you-are or what-reality-is. Why? Because what-you-are and what-reality-is are not concepts.
The confusion of concepts with the actuality (reality) they represent is the fundamental confusion that leads to all our problems and suffering (as I define those terms) in the first place. The whole point of “awakening” or “realization” is to undo this fundamental confusion. The confusion is “undone” by realizing all our beliefs are false. At their core, all beliefs are concepts1. And all concepts are false; that is to say they necessarily must fail to “capture” reality as-it-is2.
This is a preview of “the deep end of the pool.” The final truth will remain elusive until the conceptual, thinking mind concedes its own ignorance comprehensively. What falls under the scope of this comprehensive acknowledgement? The following truths must be recognized…
SEEKERS BE WARNED:
The identity you take yourself to be is not durable, nor fundamental. It is made of nothing but thoughts. You are not — and cannot be — what you think you are.
While life consists in making decisions, there is no such thing as “free will3.” You are not an agent or entity that has independent control of your life.
ALL the beliefs that you hold are false and they must be relinquished.
There is no fundamental “reality” to our ideas of “control.”
There is no such thing as security.
There is no such thing as certainty.
There is no such thing as “good,” “bad,” or “evil” outside of mere opinion.
There is no “purpose” or “meaning” to life.
You life must and will give way to Death.
There is no “objective” reality.
Time is an illusion — it is purely abstract/conceptual, meaning…
The past and the future do not exist.
There are no spiritual “realms” outside THIS-right-here-right-now.
How would that look as a poster on a door to a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction class? Hopefully that’s enough to suck the wind out of any ambitious seeker’s sails.
When I say there are “dangers” to awakening now you know exactly what I mean. The above are truths waiting to be discovered on the seeking journey. Can you now see why some unwary seekers wind up nihilistic or “depersonalized” or “derealized” when they unwittingly stumble upon them? The random seeker can stumble upon them because they are true; irrespective of what we want or think to the contrary.
Proceed only if you are willing to “pay the price” of facing the above. Fear is a very normal — and understandable! — response. So know this:
There is no “awakening” without going straight into the heart of your deepest fears.
The good news is when you come out the other side (presuming you were committed, full-knowing, to run that gauntlet beforehand), you’ll realize all of your fears were based on erroneous assumptions to begin with! All of your fears were worrying about things that were never true. This is why what is “darkness” for some is bona fide Liberation for others.
I’ve had so many arguments about this with people. Most contrarians appeal to the emotions/feelings evoked with beliefs as indicating there is more to a belief’s “core” than concepts. But the emotions/feelings are the result of believing the core concept is true. People don’t like to concede this argument. So I then usually ask: “Tell me a belief you have that is not a concept.”
If they have a reply, it is invariably a concept (e.g. “I am a human being!”). I’ll try to point out the conceptual nature of the core of their stated belief. Rarely are they convinced. Believe it or not I really don’t like arguing so I usually just leave it alone after that. I’m not interested in changing people’s minds. I simply point — others must follow their own judgement.
You could spend the rest of your life trying to accurately and comprehensively describe the taste and smell of coffee. If you did, on your deathbed you’d be virtually no closer to having accomplished this goal than the first moment you started the endeavor. And there is so much more to life and reality than the taste and smell of coffee — although they are very, very important!
This should be painfully obvious. It’s surprising to me how much push-back there is against the truthful denial of free will. I suppose it’s because free will is “the other side of the coin” of the illusion of the self (I think Sam Harris said that). As long as one believes they are their self-image, maybe free will is a foregone conclusion? Regardless…
While some have attributed the following to Arthur Schopenhauer, I have never found a solid reference, so I will just state it as an axiom: “One is free to do as one wills, but one is not free to will as one wills.” There’s really nothing more to it than that. It’s fine to say we have a will (volition). But that will is the opposite of “free.” The will simply arises in consciousness however it arises. It’s inner-workings are utterly “in the dark” of the pre-conscious mind.
The only way one can think their will is “free” is to have failed to pay attention to how it actually works. Mindfulness will reveal the uncontrollable nature of the will (just as it will highlight the illusion of the self); but only if we pay close enough attention.
"ALL the beliefs that you hold are false and they must be relinquished."
The scariest thing is that this applies even to pleasant, good beliefs like: "I have friends/relatives", "there is good in the world" and, yes, "I am safe"
The dark night of the soul - I think I understand what is so dark about it. Self-investigation shows that everything I firmly stand on is just ideas...